Traditional Japanese Wedding
I’ve only been to a handful of weddings in my life and had the privilege to experience different cultures through attending them. Out of the handful of weddings I’ve been to a Christian, Jewish, Taiwanese, Bulgarian and now a Japanese wedding. I don’t know Japanese and am not an expert in weddings, but I would like to share my experience and a deeper look into a traditional Japanese wedding.
The wedding took place at one of the most famous shrines in Tokyo, Meji Jingu. It’s a major tourist attraction in the middle of Yoyogi Park. The park is famous for having different events weekly including cultural festivals, a snowboarding park during the winter, athletic park, futsal (football) fields, pony park, mud park and a picnic heaven. People come here to escape the human congestion right next door in Harajuku, Shinjuku and Shibuya. This was not your typical Japanese wedding and it is probably a wedding that most Japanese people haven’t experienced.
We were asked to meet in Meiji Jingu Kaguraden, one of the multiple buildings around the shrine. At 11:40 AM we were met and briefed about the ceremony which began at 12:40. We waited in the lobby for about 30 mins while the bride and groom were taking pictures around the shrine. When they arrived, we were escorted to a private room with their names on it. In the room, the bride and groom sat in the middle and we were divided into the groom’s side and the brides’ side. Throughout the ceremony, the guests were always separated into the groom’s side and the bride’s side. They had official business to attend to while we sipped on salty sakura tea. We all watched the process and admired the intricate details on the Kimono and the big white headdress or tsunokakushi. The tsunokakushi, literally means “horn hiding” and it is supposed to protect the bride from jealousy, selfishness and her ego. They continued to explain the procedure and we were allowed to get up and take photos every now and then. At one point, the groom translated what we needed to do during the ceremony. There were only two people that can take photos during the actual ceremony. One from the groom’s side and one from the brides. No one wanted to take photo on the bride’s side, so I was given the honour. The staff gave us a sheet of paper that detailed the times we could take photos and our assigned seats. Not being able to understand Japanese, I watched the other photographer carefully and took cues on when to shoot. The whole briefing took about 20 mins and then we lined up in two lines for the procession.
The procession went through the open temple grounds into the ceremony room. While we walked, a temple staff held an umbrella over the bride’s head while she walked in the sun. There were masses of tourist around the temple grounds who flocked to get Instagram photos of the wedding. When we arrived at the ceremony room, the groom’s party and bride’s party sat on different sides. The order of the events went like this. There are 18 steps in total.
1. The bridal couple leave from the waiting room
2. Enter the ceremony room
3. Priest plays the taiko for praying as the ceremony begins
4. Shinto priest purifies the couple of impurities before the ceremony
5. Priest prays to Shinto Gods
6. Priest reads aloud the “norito”. Norito is a document which tells the bride and groom they will be married, and it is promised that they will be happy for a lifetime
7. Serving sake to the bride and groom
8. The bride and groom drink sacred sake from same glass to exchange vows
9. Couple exchange rings
10. The bride or groom (or sometimes both of them) take an oath in front of the gods
11. Tamagushi hairei, the bride and groom dedicate a “Tamagushi” or a branch of Japanese Cleyera decorated with cotton thread and Shide which is a zigzag-shaped paper streamer. Tamagushi is a gift that expresses the sincerity from the people to the Gods. Then they bow twice, clap their hands twice, and bow once again to express their gratitude to the god.
12. Someone dances a religious dance
13. Shaking traditional bells for happiness
14. Each family member also drinks the sacred sake to create a strong bond between families
15. Priests greeting
16. At the end all the people at the ceremony bow to the god
17. Priest plays the taiko for praying as the ceremony concludes
18. Leaving the wedding
Throughout the ceremony and the whole day, there was a woman whose job it was to only look after the kimono. Every time the bride sat down and stood up, she came over to fix the folds or made sure the different items were placed correctly. When the bride had to go anywhere, she had to be with her. When she walked, she had to shuffle her way gracefully across the room or temple. After the ceremony we walked near the Kaguraden to take group photos. The procession and ceremony took about 40 mins in all. This concludes the first part of the day.
When the photos were done, we were all bused to a banquet hall called Meiji Kinenkan. Here we were escorted into a room where we waited for the newly married couple to arrive. While we were waiting, we handed in our “presents” or envelopes with money. The value inside the envelopes varies depending on how many people you bring and the relationship you have with the married couple. The closer you are, the more you give. When the bride and groom enter the room, there was an official speech and we all rejoiced for the newlyweds. We then went out to the garden to take copious amounts of pictures before entering in the private tatami floored dining room. The food was an 11 course kaiseki style dinner with free-flowing drinks. First the groom made a speech and then the newlyweds and their family tapped open a brand-new sake barrel. The meal itself was like the kimono. The attention to detail was the ultimate perfection; every dish was spectacular. It was seasonal and each dish had a particular meaning. Throughout the dinner the father of the groom went around with the seating chart to thank everyone for coming, poured drinks and have light banter with each person. We watched a short video of the newlyweds; of when they were little and how they met. When that was over it was time for them to walk around to give thanks, pour drinks and talk to everyone. At the end of the meal, the fathers took turns to give speeches and the whole family greeted us as we left. On the way out, we took more photos in the grand entrance with everyone, to finish the second part of the day.
The last part of the day was the after party at an izakaya. It was a place where we could mingle more and get to know each other in a casual environment. The newlyweds and most of the people changed into their street clothes and enjoyed the 2nd round of drinking and eating. Being a responsible adult, I left at a reasonable time but it’s not uncommon for the party to go to a 3rd venue. I hope that this gives some insight into what to expect at a traditional Japanese wedding. This was only my opinion and observation. If there is a chance to go to a Japanese wedding, I would try it at least once but not too many because it could break the bank.
- Kai
