This is a wonderful technique that we use with the children in our preschool however sometimes we forget to use it for ourselves. Being faced with challenges is very much a part of life and when in these kinds of situations, our emotions can become intense and we end up “not doing as we say”. A particular utterance that I heard so many times as a child was “do as I say and not as I do”.
I prefer to ” do as I say, and do as I do”. This helps me live my truth, truthfully and authentically. Children are our greatest teachers and being able to use the lessons that we try to teach them, can be our greatest lessons as well.
Breathing deeply, 3 times is a great tool to use when helping children become calm and and regulate their feelings. So of course, it would work in the same way, when we are in situations that push us into strong feelings that are not really helpful.
While I personally live through my emotions and while I never want to suppress them, I also don’t want to be ruled by them in moments of stress or exhaustion. That’s where this simple practice of three deep breaths becomes a lifeline, not just a tool.
By the end of a long workday—especially one spent giving, guiding, and soothing little ones—I often find my own reserves are empty. My patience thins. My voice tightens. And ironically, that’s exactly the moment when a child (or partner, or colleague) will need me most. In the past, I might have reacted sharply or shut down. Now, I try to pause—even just for six seconds—and breathe.
Here’s what that looks like in real life:
I stop what I’m doing. I place a hand on my chest or belly. I inhale slowly for a count of four, hold for two, and exhale for six (longer exhales calm the nervous system faster). I do this three times. That’s it. And almost without fail, the fog of tiredness lifts just enough for me to respond instead of react.
We tell children: “Take a breath. You’ve got this.”
We need to say it to ourselves too—without guilt, without thinking it’s silly or too small to matter.
So tonight, after you’ve tidied up the paints, wiped down the tables, and said goodbye to the last child, try it. Sit in your car, or on your sofa, and take three deep breaths just for you. Not to fix anything. Not to be a better role model. Just to come back to yourself.
Because the truth is, we can’t pour from an empty cup. And we can’t teach peace if we’re living in perpetual fatigue. “Do as I say, and do as I do” begins with showing ourselves the same gentleness we show a child who’s had a meltdown after a long day.
You are allowed to be tired. You are also allowed to breathe your way back to calm.
And that, perhaps, is the greatest lesson of all.
