Developing & Supporting Independence in the Home

Independence is something that a child must acquire by himself – physically,psychologically and emotionally. Independence is not something than can be given by one person to another. We can’t teach independence, but rather we must provide an environment and opportunities for children to develop independence.

So, what could we do in our homes to help children on the never ending road to ever increasing independence? Well, there is no manual that gives all the answers, but what seems clear is that the more comfortable a child feels in their surroundings, and the better access they have to meaningful activities that satisfy their natural curiosities, the more successful they will be at mastering the skills necessary to support the move towards greater independence. You might be surprised how many simple activities are out there that help our little ones develop skills and confidence and the key component is to simply involve our children in meaningful, purposeful and age appropriate tasks. Let’s look at some examples;

Kitchen

Why buy a toy kitchen when you have already the real thing?! Involve them in the kitchen as much as possible (or as much as your patience allows!). Set up the kitchen so that their items are easily accessible bowls, plates, cups, forks, spoons etc. When it is time to eat, they can can easily set the table for themselves and feel a sense of accomplishment when doing so.

Include them in cooking, start with simple tasks, such as stirring, scooping, kneading, mashing, measuring, pouring and peeling. Expect things to get messy that is ok! All these tasks help develop fine motor skills and with repetition and practice they will start to master tasks without assistance and decreased mess.

There are a number of foods a two year old can prepare themselves, some with minimal assistance, like peeling bananas, boiled eggs or mikans, or even washing fruits in a colander. Learning to spread butter on bread to shaping a rice ball in their hands, or even rolling norimaki. Smoothies are super easy, healthy and fun. Making pizza, pancakes and muffins all involve a number of steps as well as teaching the child that cooking can take time so patience is required. Not only is cooking great for their fine motor skills, children are more likely to eat the food they helped prepare.

Young children love to be involved in what you are doing. Cleaning is not a chore for them, it is simply an activity and learning experience. Allow them to experience washing their own dishes, they can enjoy the sensory experience with water, soap, sponges etc. whilst helping out with the house work.

Windows, Balcony doors, Mirrors

Equip them with a small spray bottle (filled with water, or chemical free soaps) and a small cloth or window squeegee. Let them spray (not too much, one or two sprays is enough) and wipe

the surfaces. Cleaning the outside of balcony doors is a great activity to do in warmer weather as you are outside there is no worry things will get too wet, they can spray to their heart's content and water play is always fun. You will also have some nice clean doors (well, at least the lower half).

Laundry

Dirty laundry - it is never ending, so get the children on board as soon as possible. Loading clothes into the washing machine, turning on the tap, measuring and pouring the laundry powder/liquid, pushing the correct buttons, pegging the clothes and sorting, are all tasks they can assist you with, who knew laundry could be so fun? Not to mention, the added bonus of watching the clothes go around and around as they get clean.

As the children get older get them more involved after the laundry is clean and dry by sorting, folding and putting away their own clothes. Make it fun by getting the children to find their matching socks out of a pile of clean laundry, then teach them to roll them together. Once they have found all their socks they can put them away in their drawer by themselves.

Garbage

When they have reached the age when they no longer want to play with the garbage bins and everything in it, get them involved and make the bins accessible. Don’t take your child’s garbage from them, show them where they can put it. Japan is fantastic at sorting and recycling garbage. Teach your child about the different types of garbage burnables, plastics, recycles. Show them how a plastic bottle feels different to a glass or a can. When crumpled, thin plastic makes a different sound to paper. Some materials are heavier than others, some more durable. It won’t take long before they will be separating garbage like a pro! Explain to them about recycled garbage, that it will be reused. Especially teach them that we want to reduce the amount of plastic waste.

Vacuuming/sweeping

Most vacuum cleaners have different height settings, set the vacuum cleaner on the lowest height, make sure the floor is clear of toys and other obstacles and let them go to town! So again, no need for a toy vacuum cleaner, lets get those gross motor skills working and let them experience the real thing, the weight, the sound and the feel all while contributing to the family home.

Meal times can mean not only food in the mouth but everywhere else too. Have a small kids size dustpan and brush the child can access by themselves and teach them to sweep the crumbs from the floor.

As a parent our goal is to raise happy, confident, independent children. At this young age we need to teach them and show great patience and respect as they are learning these tasks. The purpose of involving young children in these tasks is not so they will do them perfectly you may find yourself redoing much of the work they do in the early stages but we must support their efforts as they build confidence, skills and independence.

“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed” -Maria Montessori